Unfortunately this is incompatible with Minecraft's default Java version
(1.8.0_51), so none of this will actually work in production until (a)
Minecraft updates to a newer Java version, or (b) Sentry changes their
SSL certificate to something that Java 1.8.0_51 can understand.
See also: https://github.com/getsentry/sentry-java/issues/1000
I found out about this issue AFTER I spent nearly a week setting
everything up just the way I like, so now I don't want to just delete it
all. I will leave this here until the issue is fixed or I can figure out
something else to make it work.
